I see this as an opportunity to pull a reverse Pigford. Have every Tea Party group that was denied their rights sue the govenrment for damages. This would fund the movement for years. 

people are praising bob woodward for some reason. i guess he actually did his job. but this does not mean he's suddenly impartial. hillary knows she will have to run against the failures of the obama administration. as well as run against whatever chicago stooge obama annoints as his successor. so her minions are going to begin biting sniping at the administration. 

by the way,i hear keith olbermann is trying to get his job back at ESPN. i hope the make him cover nascar.

here's a holiday classic...

Me and about ten other losers are standing in line at the flower shop. The sun is going down, and there's a feeling of desperation and impatience. We shuffle forward slowly in line. Why does this holiday always sneak up on us? 

The owner's chihauhua trots out from behind the counter. He walks along the line of customers, giving each one a casual sniif. Eventualy he makes his way to the eight foot high pyramid a teddy bears in the corner. He bites one around the neck and drags it out to the center of the shop. We all watch in silence as he proceeds to hump the bejeezus out of the bear. Five minutes, ten minutes, time seems to slow as he goes to town on the stuffed animal. The store owner gets up with a grunt. Walks over to the dog... "Bad Pepe. A thousand times I tell you no!" she picks up the teddy bear, having to peel the dog off, and stuffs it back in the pyramid. 

Some girl got the best Valentine's Day present ever.

it's time for Ron Paul to shut up. he is in danger of becoming his son's version of jeremiah wright.

missed an inauguration cartoon. michelle pointing at her wig and asking "how do you like my bangs?"

then barack pointing at michelle and asking "how do you like my beard?"

So, we can't interrogate Hillary because she's had a concussion and is on a bunch of drugs. Sounds like the perfect time to me.

what happened to the comments? the site was getting spammed. maybe someday.

What is the plan now? Before anything else we must stop Mitt Romney. He will want to run again in 2016. And when he loses he will try 2020. There is a pasture somewhere out in Utah he needs to be put out in. And Karl Rove should be run out of the country all together.

Knock knock

Who's There?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting cow wh...Moooooooo

Substitute Candy Crowley for interrupting cow and you have a pretty good summary of the debate.

have a few ideas ready. expect some cartoons this week.

This is real. It appeared in the New York Times on on July 2nd 1992. Now this was before the internet. A time when if you wanted to save something you tore it out of the paper and used it as a bookmark. Stumbled on it the other day. For some reason I could not bring it up online. Strange.  Will get back to cartooning eventually. Maybe next month.

Batman and the Jewish Question

by Rebecca Roiphe and Daniel Cooper

Batman's new adversary, the Penguin, played by Danny Devito in "Batman Returns" is is not just a deformed man, half human, half arctic-beast. He is a Jew, down to his hooked nose, pale face and lust for herring. No, Mr. Devito is not jewish, but that's just it: Man in penguin costume, Christian in Jew face. 

webmonster here:  You'll notice some things missing and REDACTED on the site now. Do not be alarmed. There's some stuff happening, potentially good - including a possible site redesign.

i suppose romney is the titanic, and gingrich is the hindenberg. and ronpaul would be the roswell ufo. and santorum....? i don't kno. maybe he's the submarine with thscreendoor just below the iceberg.

if i was delusional enough to think that my opinion carried ay weight, i'd tell you all to vote for gingrich. but still... how can i pass up a joke like this.

does anyone still care about the occupy movement? well here's one last cheap shot.

am watching the primaries. i do sort of have a problem with romney's religion. i don't think he's mormon enough. i don't think a truly devout ldser would have compromised on abortion. there's just something wrong with a guy who'll stand tough on the magic underwear, but toss away a right to life committment just to get elected. 

 alan moore has decided to pick a fight wih frank miler over the occupy movement. it is fun watching the fits errupting over the various comic book forums. most seem to be fan boys screaming "fascist" at miller. and other various ad hominem ttack having nothing to do with the issues. i can play that game too.

now  i have never met moore, but judging from the picture i suspect he smells. so he has that much in common with the occupy protestors.

he is a one trick hack. he takes characters others have created and gets cheap drama out of turning them into self loathing alcoholics. and after seeing his book “lost girls” i do not think he so be left unsupervised around children.

the protests themselves are now over, with only the feces left to clean up. not even worth discussing.

The city of Santa Cruz had to bring in hazmat crews to clean up 200 pounds of human feces after the occupiers left. I'd make a Michael Moore joke at this point, but we're stll about three hundred punds of shit short.

Is this it? is this the "Kent State moment" they've been waiting for. Kind of pathetic. But I'm currently watching people compare this to tianammen square. 

For the record, given the limited information I think the cop acted inapprpriately. But that in no way ads legitimacy to the commie dullards cause.

 are any of you all good at math? and digging up dull statistics? i'd like to do an analysis of the casualty rtes between soldiers deployed to afghanistan and the various occupy groups. then compare overdoses, assaults and rapes. 

not much to do around here. but we got beer. and we got chainsaws. spare me the critiques. i know it looks like hell. but not bad for a first effort.

will have a toon up in a day or so.

volokh has semi functional links to the story of a turkish cartoonist being tried for renouncing allah. the cartoon wars now enter their fifth year. 

http://volokh.com/2011/09/28/turkish-cartoonist-to-be-put-on-trial-for-renouncing-god/

or bellyflop. all the other major candidates are floundering because of one or twp liberal ideas they simply will not let go of. even christe has his problems. herman cain is looking better and better.

actually have a few cartoons lined up for this week. stay tuned.

the award for best hero overall went to monte valmonte. monte won every year.

Dan won the award for Best New Hero of the Year...

while i'm taking some time off, i'll be posting a complete new dan story. one page a day. for the next two weeks or so.

started paying attention during the last seven minutes of the trial, and am now outraged.

as for dominic trauss kahn, i hate the idea that we owe the troll an apology. am half convinced that several nypd detectives just got chateaus in bordeaux.

meet my new neighbor

am taking some time off. will get back to cartooning eventually.

missed a few days. catching up on the kerfuffel. some basic questions....


i never knew women were impressed by men who sent photos of their junk. is this a new thing? imagine all the money i wasted on cards and flowers.


also, weiner could only give a vague "pretty sure" that all the women he tweeted with were of legal age. all you need is one 17 year old and he's guilty of exposing himself to a minor. awesome.

and is he certain that every woman he was tweeting with was really a woman? again, i doubt a real female would want to see a dick pick. but a gay guy trolling around might.

finally, bill clinton officiated at weiner and huma's wedding. since when does a disbarred and impeached former president have the authority to preform marriages? are they legally married?

just a place holder. you'd think i'd have something about weinergate. but all the easy jokes are taken.

by the way, where is the mahdi? maybe they should check the well again.

toon maybe tomorrow.

we are too civilized. his corpse should be stuffed, mounted and put on display at the appropriate military academy.

i am considering an edition of draw mohammed day greeting cards. i'd draw mo on the front, and leave it blank inside for your own artwork. figure $20 if interested. 

if the egyptians think virginity testing protesters is a good idea, maybe we should consider it. 

it is often noted that the presidency ages a man. barack obama seems to be getting younger. he is regressing to a child like state. the economy collapses and he plays golf. terrorists attack and he plays basketball. next year when iran gets nukes i expect we'll find him in the ball pit at chuck-e-cheese.

was in hollywood during the king riots. when the lapd tucked tail and abandoned the neighborhood for two days. was also there for northridge. swear people were in starters stance waiting to take down the pharmacy. i ultimately didn't join in because there's nothing on the boulevard wotrh stealing.

later discovered that bugs bunny's star had come loose. the earthquake had separated it. but never found that perfect combination of drunk enough to steal it, yet sober enough to run with three hundred pounds of concrete on my back. would have made a great coffee table though.

the law declared that every cartoon for the past two weeks had to refer back to charlie sheen. thought i'd just sit it out.

khadafi doesn't even control his own country twenty miles outside the capitol. but he can still reach out and make the obama administration look like dullards. 

watching a joke fail can be almost as good as watching one work. the fact that jon stewart is now the michael vick of the camel world helps too. 

have been busy. might have new cartoons in a day or so. meanwhile..... 

lisa edelstein is starring in some new planned parenthood ad as a desperate woman looking for an abortion. she's the best they could do? they couldn't have found anyone younger? it's been years since i've seen house. but i recall her character being a barren spinster. really doubt she has to worry about getting pregnant.

everyone is suddenly pretending to care about charlie sheen. just let him go. we all remember that uncle who smoked and drank and lived to be 103. some people are just more genetically dense than others. maybe charlie is immune to the effects of crack and stds. we should be studying his DNA. not nagging the poor guy.

watched a little of cpac. was breitbart high?

i've been taking crap lately for drawing cartoons about stories no one has ever heard of. don't you people read drudge? anyway...

http://www.time.com/time/covers/0,16641,20110207,00.html

nitpicking the state of the union,

obama spoke of a world where the winner of the science fair is as honored as much as the winning athlete. sounds nice until you think of the segment of his base that won't let their kids keep score while playing soccer. they think the very idea of winners and losers is somehow discriminatory. he has to wade through a swamp of his sides own ideological crap before he can even get to the starting point. 

at first the lies were in ignorance. no one knew anything the first few days. so i guess they figured they might as well make some stuff up. if it smeared a political opponent so much the better.

now we know the shooter was a flag burning pot smoking 9/11 troofer who opposed the war and seemed to want to replace the gold standard with weed. but the media just keeps lying. 

killed the last toon. it just wasn't very good. want to save the idea for later.

there is less of a connection between palin and this shooting than jodi foster and the attempt on reagan's life. but that hasn't stopped the media from pushing the big lie. if they had any shame they'd have given up by now.

when the initial reports came in, my first thought were "will the shooter be named mohammed or muhammed?"

but i kept my mouth shut. because i had no real information. good thing because i would have been wrong.

other's felt no such restraint. there have been people waiting in starter's stance to pin any tragedy on palin. they had no facts when they made the initial accusations. and as facts slowly come out that directly contradicted their beliefs they doubled down on stupid. they seem to think that if they scream loudly enough reality will warp around them. the universe will conform to their prejudices and palin really will be to blame. the killer fixated on gifford back in 2007, long before anyone south of juneau had ever heard of palin. the crosshairs ad we've all seen a 1000 times now is irrelevant. 

not that they care.

will have a real cartoon tomorrow.

so, batman went to france and got a muslim sidekick. its more plausible than him finding a brave regular frenchman.

thanks for sparing my feelings and not pointing out the spelling error in the last cartoon.

you might say that if they'd read the obamacare bill first they might have anticipated this problem. it is far more likely that they simply didn't care. they were counting on various toadies in the judicial branch to ram it through. 

wonderful watching the wheels come off like this.

finally figured out who this guy reminds me of. he's phil spectre. with maybe a little roman polanski thrown in.

anyway. am taking off for a few days to get  some stuff done. 

the president has a children's book out. went through it in the checkout line. besides raising again the questions that bill ayres ghost wrote his other books, i can't see much purpose in reading it. the illustrations are okay in a "don't take any chances" sort of way. but bush's dog barney had a better understanding of plot structure, and a larger vocabulary.

yes, the cartoon is a retread. but it's suddenly relevant. 

his progressive followers will by no means be upset t this. because they know he's lying.

this dog makes a terrible model. he never holds still.

i am lazy. and pretty irresponsible too. so i'm going to pass this rumor on without verifying it. i expect you, my minions, to go and figure out if there's any truth to it for me. 

A source in Alaska told this reporter the counting boards appointed by Fenumiai awarded Murkowski at least one vote cast for “Mercowshit” and another for “Fuckowski.” These protest votes were credited for Murkowski on the grounds that two syllables of her last name were phonetically correct.

http://floydreports.com/exclusive-alaska-counts-anti-murkowski-slurs-as-votes-for-murkowski/

i want to see a remake of red dawn starring ted rall, jeneane garafalo, markos moulitsas, michael moore, and keith olbermann. a group of whole foods shoppers run for the hills after the right wing religious fanatics parachute in and start forcing everyone to not have abortions. but i think it would too quickly degenerate into a brokeback mountain sequel. 

really, what are the differences between glenn beck and ted rall? beck is funnier. beck has never called for armed revolt. and even though i have never seen him actually draw anything, i'm gonna say he's a more talented artist than rall.

he'll be back on the air tonight. he is really in the final stages of making that network his bitch.

heard the dreaded word "accumulation" last night.  winter's finally hit.

anybody who's surfed near malibu knows that shit floats. that's the only explanation i have for harry reid surviving the republican tsunami. and maybe if certain pasty egg shaped former bush advisors had kept their blow holes hsut we might have had a senator o'donnel.

anyway, just something from the upcoming "vote bunny".

you've got a washed up musician from before i was born now turned religious fanatic. he calls for the death of an author who challenges his religion. and the free speech heros at comedy central think it would be a good idea to invite him to their "restore sanity" rally. brilliant. what ****ing geniuses. 

you'll notice that no one from south park was in attendance.

clearly, we should fix maureen dowd up with todd seavey.

just another leftover design for something or other. 

any of you all want to see a magnificent moment in uncomfortable television should look to c-span. jonah goldberg was hosting a panel on some new young conservatives book. i don't want to give anything away. but try to catch a re run at some point.

something from the sketchbook.

cartoon blitz. new toon every day this week. 

in a way it makes sense to send a U.N. ambassador to negotiate with aliens. better them than somebody useful. i say smother them in barbeque sauce before they get on the saucer.

by the way, Killer Klowns from outer space is on available hulu. it is one of the cheesiest/best horror movie ever. 

is karl rove that smart? he knows that he is despised by liberals and independents. if  he comes out against the gal in delaware he might actually get the moderate voters to look seriously at her. one or two percent might fall for this bit of reverse psychology.

is he that smart? 

no.